Please Return Our Copy of Zardoz
There are many important and essential items which populate the shelves of the library. Some are so necessary to the operation of this institution that we could hardly open without them. Webster’s Dictionary, War and Peace, Tom Sawyer or The Bell Jar are irreplaceable parts of our collection. The 1974 film Zardoz is not one of these essential items. Zardoz was due back a full three weeks ago and almost every time I wander by the Z section of our DVDs I wonder, will it ever return? There are only 6 other films in that section, Zoolander, Zoolander 2, Zombieland, Zulu, Zelarny and Zorba the Greek, its not like I wouldn't notice that someone had absconded with Zardoz.
Please bring our copy of Zardoz back.
There are a few things about Zardoz which immediately stick out. Its a movie about Sean Connery where he isn't James Bond, someone like James Bond, or an immortal Scottish warrior. Whoever did the set and costume design for this film is either a genius or recovering from a concussion. Academy Award nominated director John Boorman doesn't do himself any favors either. Though he had only the year before directed the Citizen Kane of hillbilly boat rides, Deliverance, Zardoz is a 180 degree departure his previous work. Deliverance left an indelible mark on American culture. Tens of thousands of river rafting trips have been ruined by John Boorman.
Zardoz lacks rednecks that want you to squeal for them (like a piggy) but it makes up for that in the first ten minutes by first introducing the film with a floating head, following that floating head up with a larger floating head that vomits firearms, and introducing Sean Connery with a pony tail in a red diaper. The story is something about bored immortals who lust for death and SPOILER ALERT have taught Sean to read the Wizard of Oz to maybe kill them? Your guess is as good as mine and I have seen this film like 3 times.
My real point here is that there is NO reason that you shouldnt have already returned Zardoz. Please bring Zardoz back. You watch this movie two times in a week, tops. If you did check Zardoz out I hope it was to study its set and costume design and ultimately turn these elements into a theme restaurant. Zardoz the restaurant would be amazing, wait staff dressed in diaphanous robes and red diapers, mirrors on everything and a huge stone head which vomits out your appetizer. Watch out Casa Bonita.
2/27/2018 12:56:09 pm
This is hysterical. Whoever wrote it should take credit. Thank you and PLEASE RETURN THIS MOVIE!! I now, strangely, want to watch it.
8/5/2022 12:39:53 pm
Great read thhank you
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